Where Does Your Heart Lie?

Recently I have been voraciously devouring the words of a friend I had the pleasure of meeting during my time at Utah State University. It seems he's managed to do exactly what I have always dreamed of doing, and I couldn't have more respect for the man. Read his blog; you won't regret it.

In one of his wise posts, he asks "Where is your heart my friends?".

I'm a guitar; his question just struck a chord. Maybe not in exactly the way he intended, but a chord nevertheless. I've never quite been good at doing things the way other people want.

All of my life, I have been such a goddamn dilettante. I have always wanted to breathe in the world all at once just for the hell of it. My aims have been scattered, and on more than one occasion, misguided or uninformed. For a long time I thought this meant that my heart had no true place to rest. 

There were many tumultuous years during which I was searching outside of myself for a place to curl up and live, instead of learning to be comfortable in my own skin. I made a slew of mistakes and lost a handful of friends. I found myself in the trenches of pretense, and I hated myself for it. This, dear people, was a futile attempt at true existence. 

The feeling of being unfulfilled is my ultimate sorrow, and I became excellent at wallowing. Unfortunately, even when you've become an expert, 'feeling sad for oneself' is not a marketable skill. I realized that until I stop quitting each endeavor I begin, I'll never get anywhere. Perhaps one's heart doesn't have to lie in a single passion.

I may not know exactly where I'll end up from here, but maybe knowing where ones heart lies (at least in regard to how you choose to spend your time) doesn't have to mean knowing what you want to do for the next twenty, ten or even five years. I've discovered that my heart lies in authenticity. My joy comes from knowing that I am being truly myself. I've discovered that maybe, just maybe, being a goddamn dilettante for a little while isn't such a bad thing. If nothing else, at least I'll be a fantastic Trivial Pursuit partner.

So now I pass this question on to any who are willing to ponder it. Where does your heart lie? I believe the more people consider and perhaps even dare to answer this query, the richer life can be for everyone. Who doesn't like riches?